Fear of...feeling?

Understanding the Purpose of Emotions

Silhouette of a head with a colorful brain and various expressive faces, symbolizing emotions, on a dark abstract background.

A frequent experience clients have mentioned in our sessions is their tendency to avoid their emotions. They steer clear of discussing them and suppress any facial expressions or body language that might reveal their feelings. They "numb out." When I explore this further with clients, they reveal that they dislike how emotions affect their bodies or fear spiraling to a point where their day is ruined, or they are unable to complete tasks and responsibilities.

This experience is something many can relate to. We often view emotions as intruders in our system. They take charge, we lose control, and become subject to their influence. It's no surprise we attempt to steer clear of them!

Emotions are essential aspects of the human experience, aiding in exploration, learning, adaptation, and, crucially, survival. They serve as signals that reflect how our brain interprets and evaluates stimuli. As we move through our environments, our brains continually process information about the world around us. Based on our perception of various experiences, our emotions guide us on how to respond—whether to stay safe, form new connections, or explore more.

Why Do Certain Emotions Feel Uncomfortable?

The body engages in multiple physiological processes when the emotion centre of the brain is activated. This activation triggers a complex interplay of responses that involve various systems within the body, primarily the autonomic nervous system, which is responsible for involuntary bodily functions. When we experience strong emotions, particularly those associated with stress or discomfort, the amygdala, a key structure in the brain's emotional processing, becomes highly active. This heightened activity can lead to the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, which prepare the body for a fight-or-flight response.

These hormones cause several physiological changes: the heart rate increases to pump more blood to essential organs and muscles, breathing becomes more rapid to supply additional oxygen, and the digestive system may slow down as energy is redirected to areas that are critical for immediate survival. These reactions are part of the body's natural defense mechanism, aiming to enhance our ability to respond to perceived threats.

Some of what we describe as feeling uncomfortable is actually the somatic (bodily) experience that creates a feedback loop prompting safety-seeking behaviours. This means that the sensations we feel in our bodies—such as tension in the muscles, a racing heart, or a knot in the stomach—are not merely byproducts of emotional distress but are integral to how we process and respond to our environment. For instance, a person who feels a tightness in their chest might interpret this as a signal that something is wrong, prompting them to seek out a safe space or engage in calming activities.

This feedback loop is crucial because it highlights the connection between our emotional states and our physical sensations. When the brain perceives a threat, the resulting somatic experiences can lead to increased anxiety, which in turn may cause further physical discomfort. This cycle can reinforce feelings of unease, making it essential for individuals to develop coping strategies that address both their emotional and physical responses. Techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or physical activity can help break this cycle by promoting relaxation and grounding the individual in the present moment.

Understanding this intricate relationship between our emotions and bodily sensations allows us to better navigate our feelings and responses, ultimately leading to healthier coping mechanisms and a greater sense of well-being. By recognizing the signs our bodies give us, we can learn to respond to discomfort in more constructive ways, fostering resilience and emotional regulation in the face of life's challenges.

The video below by Sentis provides a useful explanation of emotions and the brain's role in how we experience them.

Embracing a Fresh Perspective on Emotions

When we start to see our emotions as helpful indicators of our internal states and external circumstances, we will begin to normalize the experience of feeling, allowing ourselves to embrace the full spectrum of emotional responses. This shift in perspective fosters greater curiosity for emotional exploration and connection, encouraging us to delve deeper into what our feelings signify and how they relate to our experiences. Rather than viewing emotions as obstacles or burdens, we can recognize them as valuable guides that illuminate our paths and inform our decisions. Our emotions do not exist to harm us; they are not mere reactions to our surroundings, but rather profound signals that provide insight into our needs, desires, and values. They help us experience and learn about an uncertain world, acting as a compass that directs us toward understanding and navigating the complexities of life. More than that, they facilitate a deeper understanding of ourselves, revealing our strengths, weaknesses, and the myriad ways in which we interact with others and the world around us.

By engaging with our emotions thoughtfully and intentionally, we can cultivate a richer, more nuanced understanding of our personal narratives and the emotional landscapes that shape our lives. This process not only enhances our self-awareness but also strengthens our connections with others, as we learn to empathize and share our emotional experiences in a way that fosters deeper relationships and community.

---

If you would like to discuss your therapeutic needs, and would like to explore the possibility of starting therapy, feel free to contact Heartspring Therapy by calling 416-688-5274, or by booking a free initial consult at heartspringtherapy.ca/book-online. In-person and video therapy sessions are available.

If you are having thoughts of suicide or self harm, or having strong urges to harm someone else, please contact 911, a crisis line, or go to the nearest hospital. You may also contact the Mental Health distress line by dialling 9-8-8.